“There is no love left between a black man and a black woman. Take me for instance. I love white women and hate black women. It’s just in me so deep that I don’t even try to get it out of me anymore. I’d jump over ten nigger bitches just to get to one white woman. Ain’t no such thing as an ugly white woman… and just to touch her long, soft, silky hair. There’s softness about a white woman, something delicate and soft inside of her. But a nigger bitch seems to be full of steel, granite-hard and resisting…I mean I can’t analyze it, but I know that the White man made the Black woman the symbol of slavery and the White woman the symbol of freedom. Everytime I’m embracing a Black woman, I’m embracing slavery, and when I put my arms around a White woman, well I’m hugging freedom” (Eldridge Cleaver 1968:107).
“No other group in America has so had their identity socialized out of existence as have black women…. When black people are talked about the focus tends to be on black men; and when women are talked about the focus tends to be on white women”.
Here in the UK, the visibility of black women in representations of mainstream Black British culture is such that you might be forgiven for thinking we are an endangered species. The near erasure of Black British women from this terrain, which is in the main dominated by black men and white women, is rarely commented upon, despite its prominence. What is actually going on here? Is this some manifestation of the quite frankly ridiculous Eldrige Cleaver quote above. Or is it something else?
The Equality Illusion (via lesilencieux)
BUT SEXISM ISN’T REAL Y’ALL WE’RE JUST MAKING IT UP. THIS ISN’T LITERAL OBJECTIFICATION. NAH. (via longdivisionnnn)
Over and over again, study after study, and people think sexism is in the past.
See, what you need to understand is that “Not all guys are like that” is never going to work. Because you’re answering an entirely different conversation than what women are actually saying.
You think women are saying “Every man is a predator and a danger to me.” And you’re replying, “But I’m not like that.”
But women aren’t saying that. They’re saying “There are too many situations where women have to worry about their safety,” and you’re saying “That’s not important.” They’re saying “Women are constantly told it’s their fault if something bad happens,” and you’re saying “Don’t worry about it.” They’re saying “Too often, women find their trust violated by men,” and you’re saying “But you should trust me!”
They’re saying “So many men have decided that what they want is more important than anything about a woman.” And you’re replying “I’m exactly like that.”
I read something the other day that really hit this home. When you say “some guys are predatory and hurt women” it gives a loophole for dudes who ARE predatory to wiggle out and it makes it seem like men who do these harmful things to women are few and far between. The men who point out that not all men are like that are looking for their loophole because they ARE like that.
But the reality is that most men are predatory or treat women like shit. We should be saying “some” when we talk about the men who DON’T hurt or disrespect women because those men? THEY are the ones that are few and far between and THEY don’t need a linguistic loophole to absolve their responsibility to treat women like people.
The truth is, there is a lot of abuse that doesn’t even ping most men as abuse. I am sure there are men who have raped or sexually abused unconscious/drunk women and/or guilt-tripped their girlfriends into sexual situations they didn’t want to be in and/or catcalled and scared a woman in the street at night with his buddies and they would still call themselves ‘nice guys’. Because rape culture normalizes this behavior, and they really have no self-awareness of their abusiveness and misogyny.
It’s like when you ask male college students if they’ve ever ‘raped’ anyone, most will adamantly answer to the negative. But if you change the language enough, take out the word ‘rape’ and replace it, asking if they have ever “had sexual intercourse with someone, even though they did not want to, because they were too intoxicated (on alcohol or drugs) to resist your sexual advances” Many of those same men will say yes. Many of these men still likely think of themselves as ‘nice guys’ because they have never like, physically attacked a stranger in an alley and raped her violently.
It reminds me of okcniceguys, which catologues all the self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ on okcupid who have the most misogynistic shit in their profiles, some of which is blatantly fucking NOT NICE like answering ‘YES’ to the question Do you feel there are circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you?
Hint: If you answered yes to this, you are not a nice person.
oh boy i super love it when a lady says “because i’m a lady i have an ever-present fear of being raped” and some dudebro has to pull out a chart to say that men are also raped sometimes because THAT IS TOTALLY EXACTLY WHAT IS BEING TALKED ABOUT RIGHT NOW, I’M ABSOLUTELY NOT COMPLETELY IGNORING YOUR STATED PROBLEM SO I CAN REFOCUS THIS ON DUDES
quick, something on the internet isn’t about dudes, we have to put a stop to this
Yeah, because, man, how horrible to have it pointed out that rape is actually a unisex problem, men actually have just as much risk as women do of being raped, and women are just as likely to be rapists as men are. How horrible it is to be corrected about being expected to acknowledge all victims of rape rather than erasing and ignoring half of them. How horrible it is to have to admit women can be just as bad as men. How horrible it is to correct someone on the fact that rape is actually rare anyway, so the idea that women have to be ever-afraid of it is actually a false and manufactured thing that hurts women and should be fought against rather than perpetuated. How horrible it is to further correct someone on the fact that men are overwhelmingly more likely to be victims of violent crime overall, so it’s actually technically really men who should be afraid.
Quick, something on the internet doesn’t revolve entirely around women, we have to put a stop to this! Only women victims are allowed to ever be acknowledged and cared about. It’s OK for women to refocus unisex problems to be entirely about women. Women should be defended against ever getting called on their bullshit and/or corrected when they say something that’s wrong.
First of all, men do NOT have as much risk as women of being raped. Seriously, we’re talking 1 in 33 vs 1 in 3. Now, obviously 1 in 3 billion is too many, but I still completely object to you beginning your argument with a premise that is provably false. Yes, the rape of men may be underreported, but all rape is underreported, so these are the numbers we have.
Second, those 1 in 33 men who are raped? Almost all of them are raped by cis men. Of course it’s possible for men to be raped by women, it’s possible for women to be raped by women, anyone can be raped by anyone. But demanding equal time and attention be paid to each scenario is not productive - it would be like demanding an investigation for one black cop shooting one unarmed white kid be given equal time, weight, and resources to the hundreds of white cops shooting over 300 unarmed black people per year. It does nothing to address the root of the problem - in the example, racism of people in a position to kill others, and in this discussion, the sexism and power imbalance that normalizes rape within our society and our institutions.
By the way, men who are the most likely to be raped? Trans men. Children. Prison inmates. Disabled men. There are institutional and systematic prejudices that make this the case. And yet, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve seen a standalone post about any of these problems. About prison conditions, and the fact that we have more men in prison than any other country in the world combined, or that trans men are attacked because they’re “pretending” to be men.
So - and this was the point of the original post that flew over your head faster than you could yell “WHAT ABOUT THE MEN” - if you want to solve these problems, and most of us do, talk about them. Talk about them before someone is already talking about the social epidemic that is rape against women committed by men. Because otherwise, you come off as a bitter misogynist who can’t stand that women are standing up for themselves and those around them. Otherwise, you come off as someone who sees others rejecting the social order and is terrified of that, not someone who cares about men.
And by the way, if you’re so up in arms about women allegedly being wrong and getting away with it, perhaps you should try not to be so egregiously wrong yourself. Just a thought.